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How to Change Your Spouse
Review this week's message.

Key Thought:

How can I focus on my own growth to build a healthier marriage?



Key Quote

“Do you have the faith to work on you, without you working on them?” – Pastor Bil Cornelius 



Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.
  • If animals could talk, which one do you think would be the nicest?
  • If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
  • If your relationship had a mascot, what would it be and why?


Start thinking. Ask a thoughtful question.
  • What are some common, but ineffective, ways people try to change their spouse?
  • Why do you think it is often easier to see flaws in a spouse rather than in ourselves?


Start sharing. Choose questions that create openness.
  • When has someone gently pointed out something you needed to change? How did you respond, and what did you learn from it?
  • When was the last time you gave your spouse a genuine compliment? How do you think more intentional encouragement could impact your relationship?
  • If your spouse only made one request of you each week, what kind of requests would you expect? How would that feel compared to constant feedback or criticism?


Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.
  • What is one specific way you can focus on improving yourself this week to strengthen your marriage?
    • Identify one small, intentional change you can make in your daily interactions with your spouse and practice it consistently for the week

Scriptures

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?  How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.  Matthew 7:3-5 NLT 

 

Search me, O God, and know my heart! .. see if there be any grievous way in me.. Psalm 139:23-24a ESV

 

Wounds from a friend can be trusted..  Proverbs 27:6 NIV

 

..Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  James 1:19 NIV

 

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.  James 5:16 NAS

 

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4 NIV

When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life but be interested in the lives of others.  Philippians 2:3-4 NCV

 

The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.  Proverbs 16:23 NIV

 

“a time to be silent, a time to speak..”  Ecclesiastes 3:7 NAS

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